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I checked my LJ today, after 14 weeks of... "not having enough time" to write up a totally useless blog.
I'm not totally alone, I'm in the office while people are in the booth right next door. But, no one can hear me... or atleast I hope they can't.
Right now, I'm singing along to Le Tigre in my special tone-def sort of way. I needed to exert all my anger out towards super-kinis thighs, like the ones Amanda Griffin shamelessly flaunts on the front page of UNO. Yes, that's what I was doing all day today, reading UNO Magazine, shrinking every last bit of self-esteem I had in my petite frame. So fun. You should try.
UNO's tag-line is The Ultimate Guide for Men, but all it talks about is sex and brings you in to the wonderous world of deep dark secrets women have oh so cynically kept from men about orgasms, foreplay, different positions and what have you. (ooohh!)... now it adds up.
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Carla asked me just recently: "Do you think he sees her behind your back? And without hesitation, I replied: "I know he does."My emotion for this is floating somewhere in oblivion, I don't know what or how to feel about it, but I know it's something negative... funny. These past few weeks, my emotions for things have been just floating around. It's like I don't know how to react to things. It'd sound so cliche to say " numb". But, there it is. Numb. "Do I make you happy?" That was one of the most difficult questions I was ever asked. The answer to that is very much subjective. Happy. Happy. Happy? Define the word happy, and maybe rephrase your question. Stop. Rewind. Press play. If only things were that easy. If life was like Virtual DJ, it'd be like the Stutter button. eew. Did I just share that with the world? I guess the answer's yes. But to what extent, I still don't know.Current Location: here
Current Mood: blank
Current Music: Final Street Call
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I haven't been blogging lately. I guess I don't have that much to say to the world. Atleast it's working for some people, blogging doesn't do me as much justice as it used to... I am Reggie! yes, yes I am. Okay, totally random. see, this is why I don't blog anymore! Why are you reading this??? Have you no life? -Says the girl who types the most pointless things in the wurrrrrld. Yes, wurld. Why? Are you interested? The internet is full of the weirdest things. You can find anything and everything on it! Sometimes you even bump into things you don't exactly want to see. But, maybe that works for some people. There are a lot of sick people out there. 90% of them probably spend most of their time on the internet. Satisfying their odd fettishes for the strangest things like sex involving insects or something... YOU FREAKS!Fix your lives. I took the most glorious shit in the world today. It felt so good. You know the type of shit that makes you feel all relaxed and unwound? alavett. I lit a cig straight after and just floated away into bliss. Yes, it was that great! Don't judge me! Just because your shit is all lumpy and gross. Current Location: next to you
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: OBS- Hot Tub
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Yes, we were together for over a year. Yes, I really did try a lot for him. And, yes, as soon as he moved to Pampanga, I saw that my boyfriend was really just a boy. It doesn't hurt to talk about him anymore. I guess I realized that being miserable isn't the way to go. I mean, I isolated myself. Why am I talking about this now? Who knows. I haven't blogged in over a month. On to different a crisis thing... thing... thing... thing... thing... thing... thing... Current Mood: confused
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I don't think there's really anything that wrong with my life. Other than the fact that I suck at living it. Sometimes I just get these random thoughts which bring me down and lead me to do impulsive stupid crazy things. Yesterday was a good day, i guess i can say that. I spent around twenty minutes with my happy crush, and I had sushi and red bull for lunch. I guess that would fall under the category of being a good day. But the rain came pouring down, as I stepped in my empty, lifeless house, I realized again: I am alone. And I didn't want to be. I miss my mom. I wish we could go out and have our mother-daughter moments more often than once a year. I want to be able to rant to her about petty little things, and not have to do it over the phone, by email or on YM. I want to be able to steal clothes from each other and have ice-cream whenever we're depressed. Mostly, it'd be nice to get a text from her if ever I get home later than usual... She was never like that, I guess it's no different now that she's far. My brother stopped dorming for a while, since he probably realized that I get chronic depression when I'm stuck at home alone. People are social beings. Last night I did something so impulsive, so stupid and so... psycho. It had something to do with my feeling fat. I know, I know. Don't hate me! But after all the hurling, stomach and head aches, the long night is finally over. I decided not to go so class today. I don't really feel like being around people right now. Jung called me last night and said: you don't need psychotherapy. you're just stupid.He's so right. Yonni got me through most of the night, though. Thank you, dear stranger. Current Mood: crappy
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Have you ever had a childhood hero? maybe a superhero, or some random cartoon character. Someone you really loved, even though you only see them on TV, and they don't even know of your existence, but you love them anyway. What if you kept up to date with everything going on, and you were such a die hard fan, that you forget about the inevitable fact that one day, that show will have it's finale, and it would eventually have to answer to that curtain call... I grew up with my Tito, since I lived with my gradparents, my parents still being in college and all, I spent most of my childhood with my mom's younger brother, who's around 15years older than me. He's a huge NBA fan, he named my first dog Jordan, of course after the great MJ, and he was the one who gave me the nickname Reggie, after nonother than the Three-point Assasin, The Knicks Killa, Miller-Time: Reginald Wayne Miller. Number 31 of Indiana Pacers. I grew up watching all his games, I'd even choose the Pacers as my team in the very first NBA live game on the FIRST PlayStation. I can vaguely remember my Tito talking me through the game which made Reggie Miller a household name, during '94, against the Knicks, where he scored a total of 39pts and 25pts in the fourth quarter alone. It makes me smile to watch him bring the ball outside the three-point line, turn around, swiftly jump-up, and perfect rainbow- there will be NO rebound. 'Til now, he holds the NBA record for three-pointers, a total of 2560. don't tell me that doesn't make you go wow... But all good things do have to come to an end. During May, 2005, Miller played in the Eastern Conference Semifinals against Detroit, where they lost 88-79. He was given a standing ovation. I swear, when they hung up his number, i cried my eyeballs out... it's been over two years, and it's a weird feeling, but I miss seeing him play. Knowing that he's retired, makes me feel so old. I guess he was so much part of my life as a child that I never thought that there would come a time when it'll all just be... history. Tags: miller
Current Mood: depressed
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Everything was going great, and I like how things are. But I seriously find major ways to fuck things up. IDIOT. Like, total IDIOT. The past week was great. Random trip to Batangas and Eastwood-Tagaytay Night, are the things which made my sembreak work. But last night was something else. TANGINA! after telling a good friend what happened, damn. i should have been there for you. i'm really sorry.
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If i was there... fuck. i wouldn't have let you out of my sight. i am so sorry reg.
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Fuckin' a. gago ung putanginang un. sabog ata mukha nun. it shouldn't have happened to you.
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i guess you can't live without me huh? hahahaha
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tangina reg. i really need to talk some sense in you. you're having too much fun being single!
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i know how you are when you're single. that's why i'm worried gaga!
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i'd rather tie you on a leash. hahaha. nah. i'm just pointing out the obvious... you need a guy so you won't be gago anymore.
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sige lang. you should do what you want and be who you want to be with. you deserve it... coz you've had a pretty rough past.
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you need a guy who makes you happy, who knows you inside-out and understands you with whatever problem YOU MADE but still someone you'd listen to no matter what... i think this kinda guy would be perfect for you.
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but... i don't think there's a guy like that who also looks good ;pwe concluded: Single Reggie = TroubleCurrent Mood: confused
Current Music: Kaskade - Lost groove
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